Just over a year ago, at the precipice of 2008, I felt ready for a year of risk and wonder. I found two quotes that seemed to capture my intentions for the upcoming year perfectly:

 

be amazed. “As I started looking, I found more and more.” ~Valerie Steel 

I wanted to remind myself that life isn’t always about what is visible. I believe there are so many hidden treasures that only appear when one is ready to see them… and I knew my busy life was not conducive to seeing all that was available to me. I wanted to slow down, to have the time to observe the world around me and revel in each moment. I wasn’t comfortable with the thought that I might be missing something important because I was preoccupied with surviving.

 

 

be alive. “The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt 

Looking into 2008, I was anticipating newness. I felt a strong desire to distance myself from the known entity that was my career path and branch out. I knew that the relationship with Bracken that had begun to flourish in 2007 would grow and become even more in 2008—and I didn’t want to miss a moment of it. And I planned to push my physical boundaries and run a 40-mile trail race.

 


As 2009 begins, I am taking stock of all I experienced in 2008. I feel confident that I succeeded in my goals. I took risks. Some bigger than others. Some physical, some emotional and some spiritual.
 
I grew up in a “safe” family. Adventure was admired, but from a distance. Education, reading, music—these were the areas of expansion that were readily encouraged. Steady jobs were expected. Physical activities were limited to those that you could participate in (supervised) with the least amount of harm. Decisions were made only after extensive research and preparation. I have rebelled in my own way over the years against this approach, but always within the confines of my own comfort level.

In 2008 I made the decision to quit a job that no longer felt right. (You can read more about it in this post.) I have no regrets, but the journey and experience of no income, no crystal-clear insight into what I want to focus on next, has been challenging. I have spent a lot of time thinking and ruminating and wondering. I have felt fear (of failing; of succeeding; of mediocrity). I have felt excitement and pride (for taking the action in the first place). And I’ve felt stuck and inert (once I’d taken that first step, I found the next few rather hard to navigate).

2008 also brought forth incredible gratitude and appreciation. Bracken proposed in August and I cannot articulate enough how his love, support and encouragement has been a grounding presence in my life.

Other highlights from 2008:

  • I ran my first ultra marathon in February, completing the Mt. Mitchell Challenge in 8 hours and 21 minutes. It climbs the tallest mountain east of the Mississippi (at 6,684′) from the town of Black Mountain, NC.
  • I completed my certification as a Wilderness First Responder (WFR), laying the groundwork for more backcountry experiences.
  • I did a lot of climbing inside (The Spot) and outside (Boulder Canyon, Moab, Shelf Road, Smith Rock), led my first 5.8 route (5 Gallon Buckets) and climbed my first 10a.
  • I moved into a new apartment in July, purging and redefining what ‘things’ were important to me in my life.
  • I summitted three 14ers (Mt. of the Holy Cross, Mt. Evans and Mt. Bierstadt) in August. The first one was part of my solo backcountry trip on my birthday. 
  • I spent the summer running “for fun” and had a blast. I really loved the freedom of running without a race goal to train for.
  • I had the opportunity to co-guide a 5-day trip to Moab with The Women’s Wilderness Institute. What an amazing experience… and learned that I want to do more of this in some capacity. (I couldn’t have done this without the WFR training!)
  • I started this blog in October.
  • I traveled. Not working certainly freed up time to recreate and visit both my family and Bracken’s.
2008 has been an incredible year of change and growth. I have shed layers of my past and made room for new experiences and beliefs. Through the challenges and tears (many, many tears), I know I am stronger and more capable than ever, with the ability to step into 2009 gracefully, full of optimism and passion for what lies ahead. It’s gonna be a big year. 

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