I was having coffee with a friend the other day when our conversation veered towards taking risks and making choices in our lives. I commented, with a hint of wistfulness, that, “I tend to play it safe” in life.
My friend (and I love her for this) burst out laughing. She looked at me incredulously and just laughed and laughed. Our eyes met and she very pointedly asked, “Really? You play it safe?” I then realized why my statement was so utterly false.
perceptions
We often judge or compare ourselves to others. Or to our own expectations of ourselves. We believe the world sees us as we see ourselves. Sometimes that’s true, but way more often, it seems, we don’t give ourselves nearly enough of the credit that others do. We’re hard on ourselves. We judge ourselves.
Are there times in my life when I play it safe? Sure. Surfing. Climbing. Speaking in front of a crowded room. Yet when I look at the choices I’ve made in my life, where I’m headed and what I’ve experienced… most people would say I take risks and am pretty adventurous.
Quitting my job. Starting a new business. Moving to Hawaii. Converting a van to live in for a year… these are not necessarily “safe” choices.
Our inner scripts can be strong. Even though we grow and evolve and transform, those old scripts from our past selves stick around. Sometimes it takes a perspective from a friend—someone outside of ourselves—to see us as we are now.
June 25, 2010 at 10:58 am
I read this on my Reader, and had to come over and make a comment. Surfing? Climbing? Safe? I think the fact that you even do them is not safe.
I on the other hand, may be living it safe. Unless of course, mothering 4 in 4 is considered not safe. And, heck, it could be! I think I even get more stuck in what folks think/expect/tell me that I can do, than in what I think, than in my own thoughts at times.
You are so much less safe than you think, or than you perhaps once were. It’s fun to get a peek at the transformation and the process(ing).
June 26, 2010 at 7:13 pm
You’re 180 degrees away from safe, which is one of the many reasons you inspire me!
June 28, 2010 at 7:34 am
Tara – welcome and thanks so much for commenting. I should clarify that in surfing and climbing, I tend to go reallly slowly and cautiously. But your point is well taken… they are both sports that have inherent risk. But again… seems to be my perception is somewhat slower than reality. Thank you for bringing more clarity.
I hope too see you around here more often.
June 28, 2010 at 7:35 am
Kath – thank you.
I am humbled and really appreciate your support and perspective.