December 2010
Monthly Archive
December 7, 2010
I am participating in Reverb10, an exercise that is challenging me to think about the past year with honesty and clarity, and to look ahead into the new year and choose what manifestations I want to reverberate throughout the new year. Join in if you’re interested.
Today’s prompt: Community. Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011?
I am independent, often to my own detriment. I tend to prefer to do things on my own, learning the hard way what works and what doesn’t. I’ve been known to have my feathers ruffled when others offer a helpful hint or opinion that I wasn’t expecting at that precise moment. I learn better by doing. And sometimes I do things wrong (or inefficiently) as others look on, shaking their heads at my stubbornness.
This isn’t to say I don’t accept help or criticism. I do that quite often and appreciate it. But, if I’m absolutely and completely honest with myself, I prefer it to by on my own terms. Or at my specific request. However, I realize it’s not always optimal to operate one’s life in this manner.
And this is where community comes in… and where I’m still learning. In early June, my husband and I arrived home to Boulder (well, more specifically to our very good friends home outside of Boulder). We’d spent the previous eight months on Kaua’i, working, learning how to surf and experiencing the gifts of the Pacific.
I’d been active on twitter and had developed new friends and relationships with many folks in Boulder. To arrive back to town, meet and hug so many friends—many of whom felt like old friends (although I’d just met them for the first time in person)—I was overwhelmed with gratitude and amazement at the instant community waiting for me.
Startup women (#startupwomen); Boulder open coffee club (#bocc); Atlas Purveyors (an amazingly warm and welcoming coffee shop); The support of the online and tech community there allowed me to open up and accept help. Accept advice and to learn… learn that it’s okay to be slow. Learn that building a business is about being vulnerable and open to new ideas.
I spoke in front of 15 women on a subject close to my heart and bravely asked for feedback and support—and got it in spades. The next time I spoke in public (my first major foray into public speaking) a month later, it was in front of 1,300 people at IgniteBoulder12. Thirteen hundred friendly faces and supportive energy coursing through Chautauqua, willing me to succeed.
In 2011, I want to extend my experience of the amazing community that is Boulder as I travel the country for the year. I want to remember that community is always there… I just have to ask. To put myself out there and allow myself to receive the gift of community—in Boulder, within my family, and around the country.
December 6, 2010
December 5 – Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why?
Expectations for friendships. I learned to acknowledge the many layers of each relationship: how each one serves and complements different aspects of my life and my personality, and what I can offer to others in the same spirit.
I think a lot of it might come down to a need for acceptance and the need to be liked by everyone I like. It doesn’t always work out that way… and I may not feel as deep a connection as someone feels about me and that’s okay, too. Stressing over it and worrying about how others feel about me is counterproductive and not a great way to direct my energy—especially when I want to focus on creating positive, forward-moving energy.
So for me, for 2010, this was a huge lesson and a really huge weight lifted from my shoulders as I let go of expectations and began to accept each relationship as separate and beautiful in their uniqueness.
December 6, 2010
December 3 – Moment. Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors).
On Kaua’i. Hanalei Bay. That surge of energy that comes with meeting a kindred spirit. The sand beneath my feet. Walking along the bay and feeling the wind and salt in the air. Talking and laughing with a new-friend-who-feels-very-much-like-an-old-friend.
The sadness I felt as we said good-bye (I was returning to the mainland soon after). The confidence and contentment of knowing what connecting with a new friend feels like. Happiness. Joy. Peace.
December 6, 2010
December 2: Writing. What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it?
Allow distractions to enter my day. Twitter, email, RSS feeds. I’ve had a goal for the past year to set aside the same amount of time every day for writing—even if I’m not in the mood, I want to sit down and have nothing else to do but write. And I was successful for about two weeks.
So can I eliminate all the distractions? Yes. Can I create a space and time for writing that is sacred and untouched by the nuances of each day? Yes. Can I commit to allowing myself the luxury of necessity of solitude for creation? Yes.
I am participating in reverb10, a reflection on the past year and a manifestation of what I want to create for 2011. Check it out if you’re interested in participating as well.
December 6, 2010
I’ve signed up for Reverb10. A 31-day exercise that challenges you to think about your 2010 and the upcoming 2011 and what reverberations you want to put out into the world. Each day there’s a prompt. Here are a few of my thoughts.
December 1 – One Word. Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you?
At the end of 2009, I had chosen Integration and Joy as the words with which I would enter 2010. As I reflect over the past year… celebrating the new year on Kaua’i. Getting the hang of surfing. Launching a new career and practice. Returning to Boulder and meeting friends I’d only known online finally in person. Building a new home (aka van) with my husband. Beginning a life-long dream of travel around the country. Speaking in front of 1300 people for my very first public speaking event. Helping my mom recover from a hip fracture and the major surgery that followed.
It’s been a busy year. Integration happened as I moved towards myself a little more. As I opened myself up and found a community; reconnected deeper with family; settled into marriage and creating a new, baby family of my own. Integration is not always elegant or graceful, but I believe necessary to growth. And looking back, I’m still finding my path, uncovering new facets of life. Yet I’m okay with the messiness and uncertainty that I’ve experienced. I’ve grown, learned and yes, integrated, more of my deepest self into who I am today.
And along with this integration, there has been joy. But not the robust, loud, emboldened joy I imagined at the beginning of 2010. But a quiet, deep joy for the direction I’ve taken in my life. For the choices I’ve made and the people I’m with.
So what’s my word for 2011? I’m still pondering that one, so you’ll have to wait. What do I want to put out into the world that will reverberate throughout the year? Hmmm…
