summit of Mt of the Holy Cross | August 2008

I started amelia carolyn just a couple of years ago on a whim. It reintroduced me to my love of writing and provided a venue to share and express my thoughts and experiences.

And I credit this blog for helping me find and develop my passion for writing and desire to help others through life coaching. And in March of this year, I launched Expand Outdoors, my life coaching practice. And with it, a new blog.

I’m also embarking on a year-long road trip with my husband, where we’re planning on blogging together about our journey. (Blog url to be determined.)

That’s three blogs for me… too many for now. So I’ve come to the decision to take a hiatus, (or sabbatical, or break, or whatever you’d like to call it) from amelia carolyn. I believe I’ll be back, but my focus is elsewhere right now and instead of feeling guilty and stressed about not writing here, I’m going to trust that the right decision for now is to let it sit for a bit.

amelia carolyn
My mom wanted to name me Amelia Carolyn before I was born, but eventually my parents decided on Amy. I’ve always dreamed that Amelia was my alter-ego. A braver and more creative self that was hidden, and I’d wanted to give her a voice through my writing.

At the beginning of 2008 I had anticipated it would be a year of newness and celebrating all that was changing in my life. I didn’t know at the time what that meant. This blog was part of that year and over the next two years, I’ve been able to integrate the bravery of amelia carolyn that was hidden, and bring her into the present.

You can catch up with me at Expand Outdoors and theAdvanture.

thank you
I want to thank all of my readers for supporting me, encouraging me and reading here. It has helped me grow and expand myself and get me ready for the future.

hiking by lower mesa falls in Idaho | August 2010

It’s always difficult to begin something new. A new sport or a new job… or building a new business (for example).

While here on Kaua’i, I’m building my life coaching practice. So far, I absolutely love it. And Kaua’i has been kind to me. I am beginning to think of my time here as an incubator of sorts. I moved here in October and began my certification program immediately. I will be leaving here at the end of May and hope to graduate June 7. I didn’t plan it that way, but if it works out, it’ll be quite lovely.

I realize starting a business takes time and patience. Here in Hawaii, I figure I’m laying the groundwork and building a solid foundation. I have a lot of ideas and a lot of plans. I keep reminding myself they won’t happen overnight.

I’ve started a blog over at Expand Outdoors and I’d love it (if you haven’t already) if you click over there and take a look. I’m attempting to write a lot more often and there may be some overlap, but I’ll also be experimenting more with my writing here. AmeliaCarolyn isn’t going away.

In the meantime, as I get used to having two blogs, two twitter handles (@ameliacarolyn and @expandoutdoors) and a facebook fan page, my postings here will very likely be a lot more sporadic (not that they haven’t always been fairly sporadic, I admit). I’ll also be posting links to my blog at Expand Outdoors every so often to help get the word out that I’m over there, too. If you like what you read, feel free to pass it along, share with your friends and family.

Here are the latest posts:

March 14: It’s Never Too Late to Play Outside

March 17: Barefoot Hiking

March 19: Links for 3.19.10: Expansion, Inspiration and Motivation

March 22: Creating Awareness and Kicking the Habit of Blah

March 24: Book Review: The Girl’s Guide to Surfing

March 26: Nutrition, Inspiration and a Little Surf Fun: links for 3.26.10

Let me know what you think. Wishing you a wonderful week ahead. Aloha!

watching the sunset on ke'e beach

Most days I enjoy the journey, getting excited about what’s happening around me and within me. Other days, it’s a little bit harder.

My life seems to be changing and evolving so quickly these days. I wanted to take a moment and share the latest.

expand outdoors
The biggest things that’s been going on is I’m in the middle of building a new business for my life coaching practice. Many of you know I’ve been taking classes since arriving in Hawaii and expect to graduate with a certification in June.

It’s been a lot of work. Classes are international, and are conducted via phone, so we’ll have students from Shanghai, Arizona, Sydney, New Jersey, Paris, New Dehli and Texas on a call together. We’re required to take over 130 hours of classes, so I’ve been on the phone a lot!

One of the requirements of graduation is to coach five people for three months (or 12 sessions each). I’ve loved this part. Truly loved it. Which tells me I’ve chosen the right career path, as this will be the main component of my practice. I coach via phone (or skype for International clients), which allows me (and them) to be anywhere in the world. Great flexibility as Bracken and I plan to do a lot of traveling over the next year.

Speaking of Bracken, along with his regular work load, he designed my logo, my website and then built my website over the past few weeks. It’s still a work-in-progress, but it’s live and I love it.

You can check out the website here: www.expandoutdoors.com.

There’s also a blog I’m starting for Expand Outdoors. You can sign up via RSS, or submit your email address through the site and receive updates via email. It’s a pretty sweet feature. Topics will center around fitness, the outdoors, coaching, personal development and the like, yet hopefully will stay personal and engaging. Let me know what you think.

This blog (ameliacarolyn) will likely evolve a bit as I figure out how to write for two and what each will be focused on (as I’ve got a lot of posts about the outdoors here). I’m hoping to experiment and have a little fun with this one, so stay tuned and let me know how you like it.

waiting for the tsunami that wasn't

life in hawaii

Hawaii is still really good. It’s not home, but it’s good. I miss a lot of things about Colorado. I want to make the most of my time here and really enjoy it… but I find myself missing my friends and the trails and the air more and more. The time here, however, has been perfect at this particular time in my life. It is providing a new space to begin to explore my career and build my practice without the distractions of “how-I-used-to-do-things.”

I strayed a bit (okay, a lot) on my yoga commitment. It became too much for me and I wasn’t enjoying it six days a week. So I relaxed (to not doing any) for a few months and am now getting back into it in a more realistic fashion. A few times a week (1-3), along with running and of course, surfing.

I will miss the ocean tons when we return to the mainland.

And that’s it for now. Just a quick stop on the merry-go-round and now off we go.

dawn patrol

Along with a few specific goals I set for myself (like flossing my teeth and eating my vegetables… both of which, I’m happy to report, saw an increase in activity throughout 2009), each December I think about a word or two that encompasses what the year ahead means to me.

2008 was a year of risk and wonder. 2009 was a year of creating possibility and abundance. As I write this post, my 2010 words are rising to the surface.

my writing goals for amelia carolyn
I realized when reading about the goals I’d set for my blog, I didn’t take my own advice. I didn’t revisit my goals and take time to reassess and revise them. And this December, I’m in a similar place with my writing and blogging goals as I was last December. I have made small steps, but none big enough to allow me to say, “I’ve met my goal.”

I haven’t achieved the frequency or discipline in my writing or posting that I’d set out for myself. And I know that had I read my goals again throughout the year, I would have made some changes. I might have made them a little more realistic considering the life changes I embarked on in 2009. I may have laid out smaller steps.

Writing is a huge part of my life and my dreams. I love the process and clarity I get when I write. And there have been small advances towards my stated goals to blog more and to write with more discipline (and less of writing only “as the mood strikes”). But I have work to do.

Luckily, I don’t believe 2009 was the only pocket of time where that particular goal could thrive. 2009 was a busy year. Lots of pretty big life changes happened in 2009 that took time and energy. In 2010, my writing will become more defined and frequent. I will have more purpose and more substance to my thoughts and posts.

So what took up so much of my energy and focus in 2009, you ask?

what a year!
Here’s a recap of my 2009 experiences:

I got married. July 25 was a fairy-tale day. The weekend filled with family and friends from all over the country was a magical weekend. The 11 months of planning that went into that weekend was exciting, challenging and filled with emotion.

crested butte, co

I ran. A lot. My running season was unexpectedly amazing and awesome. I entered and completed two ultra marathons. The Moab Red Hot 50+K and the Collegiate Peaks 50 miler. I also ran my best Pike’s Peak Marathon three weeks after the wedding and enjoyed a few other fun and challenging trail runs (the Golden Gate Dirty Thirty in June, the Gothic Crested Butte Third Marathon and the Barr Trail Mountain Race in July).

moab red hot 50k+

collegiate peaks 50 mile trail run

pike's peak marathon

I moved to a new state, into a new home, with my new husband. In September I sold my car and began packing. At the beginning of October, we moved all our furniture and most of our possessions into storage. Then Bracken and I moved to the island of Kaua’i, in Hawaii. We have been housed by the generosity of amazing friends and are still adjusting to the experience of reality in paradise.

polihale state park, kaua'i

sea turtle in poipu, kaua'i

sunset at hanalei bay, kaua'i

I embarked on a journey toward a new career and subsequent new business. In September, I became a student at the International Coach Academy, based in Melbourne, Australia. I will graduate in 2010 with a Professional Coaching Certification. I will be a life coach working in the outdoor and fitness industry helping others integrate fitness and sport into their lives. I plan on concentrating on “late-bloomers” like me who are new to sports and fitness and need education and motivation on how to get started and what to expect throughout the journey. (Stay tuned for more information coming in 2010.)

I played. I summited two 14ers (Antero for my annual birthday climb) and Pike’s Peak. I climbed. I bouldered. I ran. I bought a mountain bike and began to learn. I took up surfing. I began a yoga journey (going six times a week).

looking towards the summit of mt. antero

my new mountain bike on the 401 in crested butte

my new surfboard

I began to explore the kitchen. I enjoyed a few cooking lessons. I shopped at the Farmer’s Market. I observed and participated in the cooking process. I plan to write more on this, but for me, enjoying nutrition and preparing meals is a foreign, enticing concept.

an abundance of possibility
Has 2009 truly been a year of possibility and abundance? Definitely. I didn’t make a lot of money as I’d hoped, but I began to build a solid foundation for a new career. The abundance came in the form of love. Of community. Of grace and compassion (from others, mind you… I’m still working on that ‘have compassion for yourself’ mantra). An abundance of experiences, of emotion, of newness.

Possibility seems harder to pin down. Yet it feels like the possibilities presented to me, and the experiences I’ve had this past year, have themselves, been abundant: surprising myself at the Pike’s Peak marathon and placing in my age group; moving to a small island in the middle of the Pacific, miles from anything familiar; exploring a new career and life calling; writing on a variety of topics and experiences.

Life feels wide open in front of me. And maybe that’s what possibility looks like. Vast and open and free.

a year of promise
2010 promises to be a full year. The words that come to mind when I think of all that’s on the horizon for me are words like: grounding. integration. expansion. maybe this is the year for compassion? emergence. discovery. motion.

What’s in store for me? What do I have planned? Lots of goodness and awesome. As much as 2009 was a year of new things and beginnings, it was also a year of building foundations. It was a year where I consciously and deliberately worked to set up a foundation that will support big things to come. Those things may appear in 2010, or 2046. I just don’t know, but I’m building and I’m creating and I’m nurturing my world for my present and my future.

In 2010 my marriage will still be new. We will be exploring the newness and integrating each other deeper into our lives, becoming stronger partners in this life together. We’ll spend time building the framework for our future; our communication; our finances; our habits and preferences. We’ll be sharing our love through the ordinary and mundane, as well as the awesome and magnificent. Or maybe it’s more like we’ll learn to recognize the magnificence hidden in the ordinary. Solidifying our union to stay strong and sure through the many changes and journeys that are ahead of us as individuals and together.

In 2010 my company will launch. And with that, I dream of introducing others (and creating within them) a life-long love affair with the outdoors. I plan on learning a lot more. I plan on putting myself out there and introducing myself to others so they know who I am, and what my mission and goals are (and hopefully by that, I can reach even more people).

In 2010 we plan to return to the mainland, with a good bit of surfing under our belts, to embark on a year-long road trip around the U.S. to climb, mountain bike and run through our country’s celebrated and hidden gems.

In 2010 I want to surf tougher, climb stronger, run longer and bike with enthusiasm (with a little bit of badass thrown in to the mix).

I want to write. A lot. (In my journal; for my personal blog; for my professional blog.) I want to write a book or two (maybe just a short one to begin).

I want to smile more often and connect deeper. I want to love generously, with compassion and grace. I want to walk in confidence and recognize my strengths and gifts, sharing them with the world.

So my words for 2010? Integration and joy seem to resonate with my insides.

Integrating my marriage, my home-within-myself, and my new career into my future. Consolidating my thoughts and ideas onto paper and out into the world. Merging my passion for the outdoors into a career that inspires and motivates others to fall in love with nature.

Joy for the energy and momentum I’m experiencing in my life. Happiness in the simple and humble. Exhilaration in the challenges and transitions ahead. And a childlike exuberance for the travel adventure I’ve dreamed of for many years.

I raise a toast to 2010: A year of integration and joy. Cheers!

This is my first visit to Hawaii, and I couldn’t be happier that instead of vacationing here for a week or so, it’s for a long stay. We plan to live here for six months to work, to live, to learn and to experience something new.

It’s so easy for me to stay where it’s comfortable. The familiar routine of morning coffee. Familiar trails. A community of good friends. When Bracken suggested we move here, I committed pretty immediately. It sounded so wonderful (I mean, duh… who wouldn’t want to live in Hawaii?). But more than wonderful and exotic and fortunate to have the means and time to do so, it seemed to fit. There was an aspect that just felt right to me.

So, after a couple of months packing up our stuff after our wedding, a hectic week moving it all into a storage unit, and a week of car trouble where we weren’t sure we were going to make our original flights and feeling pretty displaced and defeated before we’d begun, we made it.

For me, I want to experience something new. I want to slow down and find a way to simply be without my own expectations, interests and familiar routines getting in the way. I finally feel ready to move forward on a new career path (one I’ve been searching for and thinking about for over a year now). And I’m excited to begin that process of recognizing and realizing my (newly rediscovered) long-held dream to write and to work with others, helping them realize their own goals and dreams.

I don’t know how I know, but I know this is the place to do it. I imagine it’s similar to the feeling I had when I moved out to Colorado way back when. Somehow I knew I wouldn’t leave it for a long time, and I knew it was the right place for me. And today, I know Kaua’i has something planned for me. Maybe it’s something big. Or maybe it’s simply planting new seeds of growth for something far in my future.

I’ve learned to trust my intuition a little better lately, and although it’s not going to be without challenges and difficult moments, I feel a quiet calm in my presence here. A quiet and peace that feels good and right.

I’ve tried to keep my expectations and plans open as to what I want to do here and leave here with, but I do have a few things I know, and want to share them here, with you, my dear readers.

• I plan on doing a LOT of yoga. I want to strengthen and heal my body and to meditate and find deeper peace and knowledge of myself.
• I will be spending a lot of time working towards a certification as a life coach. This is the first step on my new career path and one that is amazingly exciting for me to think about and finally delve into.
• I plan on spending a lot of time swimming in the ocean and learning how to surf. It’s a childhood dream to be a surfer and while I have no expectation on surfing large waves, I do want to be comfortable in the water, with a board, standing up.
• I want to write. A lot. I have a vision of this blog with a lot more updates, observations and stories, as well as writing for a few bigger projects I have in mind. Stay tuned.
• And finally, I want to slow down. I want to find a deeper sense of consciousness in my choices and an awareness in the world around me.

Over breakfast this morning, I looked around and got the feeling as though I’d been plucked out of my own life and dropped in on an entirely new world. It’s a good thing, it’s a scary thing and it’s an entirely unknown thing. And I’m ready.

I talk a lot on this blog about being conscious of our lives and being present for them, and making decisions with our eyes open and with meaning.

It matters what we do between our “doings.” It matters that in music, we rest. The silences between the notes and rhythms accent, prepare and complement the notes themselves.

It matters that we stretch and eat right between running, or biking or any other type of physical activity. Stretching our legs and gaining core strength decreases our risk of injury and works to ensure we’ll be active for years.

It matters that we take time for ourselves between relationships and careers. Taking the time to review our mistakes and get to know and reconnect with our inner selves can solidify our sense of self and place in the world, thereby bringing forth a stronger, more confident self into the next chapter.

The space between matters.

expectations and breath
I (and our society at large) seem to have internal expectations that we must always be “doing something” in order to be successful. Leisure time is wasting time, right? I disagree. I’ve heard the “you can sleep when you’re dead” mantra before and wonder how it came to be something to value or to look up to. Resting between action is vital to our mental, physical and emotional health.

Pay attention to your next breath. To breathe in, one must breathe out. There is a natural pause when the exchange happens.

space in action
even in action, what we do between our movements and judgments matters. I signed up for a Parkour class a few months ago and the instructor, Ryan, gave us this advice (paraphrased):

Those who are the best at this discipline are constantly scanning their environment and perfecting their movements between the obstacles. It’s what they do to get into the right position before they make a big move, and what they do to land safely after each jump that makes them so good.

peace with inaction
And from this idea, I realize that all the time I’ve taken between jobs… the worries, the frustrations, the time I felt I’d wasted, and the ideas generated are all good things. Because I now realize that when my next career launches in full force, I’ll have scanned my environment; stretched my mind; and I’ll have paused to feel the rhythm of my life. And all of that information I’ve gathered will result in focused energy and knowledge for my next big move.

I trail run. A lot, it seems, these days. When I started running eight years ago, I tended to dread it. Then I went off-road and found exactly what I didn’t know I was looking for: peace. fun. challenge. patience. and a little bit of zen.

As my life shifted into new territory recently (I moved, left a secure job for an opportunity to find a career I was passionate about, got engaged and started the wedding-planning process), the trails in the foothills of Boulder have been instrumental in helping me focus my energy, maintain a semblance of sanity, and find that ever-elusive balance.

On a recent long run, parallels between the current challenges I was experiencing on that particular trail, and the challenges and fears I was working to overcome in my professional life began to emerge.

Know your goal, but you don’t need to know every little thing about the path you’re on.
We’ve all been there. We want to know exactly where we’re going; how long it’s going to take; what it’s going to look like when we get there; and how we’re going to feel. Some of us are a little less relaxed about this than others, but we’ve all learned the same lesson: Not knowing everything can be good. Why?

Our minds stay open to possibilities and opportunities. We become (and stay) more flexible when things don’t go as planned. A better way to go about it and reach your goal might just appear before you (if you’re looking).

Prepare for your journey, but don’t overdo it.
Remember your first backpacking trip with the 60 lb. pack? Or your first international trip with two (or maybe three) suitcases? You wanted all your comfort items and were determined to have everything you needed on hand “just in case.” I’m guilty.

Make sure you have the essentials dialed in. Your business plan. Knowledge of the product or service you’re offering and an ability to actually articulate it to others. A rain jacket in your pack. Enough food and water (plus a little extra).

But too much weight can, well, weigh you down (I couldn’t help myself). Feeling compelled to have all the “right” materials before officially announcing your new company to the world can leave you with missed opportunities to network and get the word out.

Learn (and trust) that you can start with less and expand as you move forward. Finding that magic balance of supplies, knowledge and gear might take some time, but know that it’ll never be perfect, so get to where it’s “good enough” and go for it. 

It might seem like your goal is far away, but trust in the process of the journey.
It’s closer than you think. I do this all the time when I’m approaching a summit. I stand at the bottom of the trail looking up and think to myself, “I’m never gonna get there.” Yet I make it. And along the way I find myself taking in the smell of the pine needles, the color of new blooms or the sound of crunching snow on the way up.

We’re an impatient species. We seem to shrink away from the tedium of an approach, only to feel depressed when we actually get to the summit. We made it and forgot to enjoy it because we were so concerned we weren’t going to make it. Trust that you’ll get there and remember to be where you are.

Remember to look where you’re going.
Manage the details of your journey, but don’t forget to look up once in awhile. Keep your eye on the rocks and terrain before you, but make sure you remember to stay on trail. When you do look up you’ll notice the brilliance of the sun and the way the wind moves through the trees. It’ll remind you why you’re on this path in the first place.

Take baby steps when you’re going uphill.
It takes less effort than an all-out run and it’s easier to stop. Running uphill is tough. And counterintuitively, it can often take more energy than walking—and be a lot less efficient. The same thing happens when we’re in a tough spot at work.

I know I often over think whatever seems to be going wrong. I invest so much energy into worry and frustration that I forget that sometimes going a little slower is okay. Taking a breath, making time to slow down often ends up saving me time.

We all know it, but stuck in the moment, it’s difficult to remember. When we rush into a tough challenge, we’re at a higher risk for falling down or making a mistake. And those mistakes made at warp speed can be doosies!

Get into the rhythm when you’re going down.
At those moments when things aren’t going well and you know you’re falling, go with the flow. When we try to slow it down, stop or otherwise control momentum, we’re at a higher risk of injury. When we move with the flow, it tends to be a softer landing.

Breathe deep and let your legs guide you. Trust yourself. We all fall at some time or another. It’s okay and it’s expected. We just need to remember to pick ourselves up and move on with grace and humility. Others admire those who take failures in stride. Just tuck and roll…

Tell someone when you’re out alone.
Having someone at home supporting you and knowing what to do if you get into trouble is important. They’ll know when to call in the troops if you need it; and will support you in your goals.

Trying to do everything by yourself can be tiresome and draining. Even just knowing someone’s home, cheering you on from the sidelines, can help keep your perspective and energy.

Take a moment to stop and look where you’ve come from.
Success can creep up on us. One day we step out of the house for our first 3-mile run, coming home tired and sore. And the next time we look, we’ve covered 31 miles of tough, vertical terrain in one day. Or we stand on the summit of a mountain, looking over the vastness of the land before us and see a bird in flight far below.

How did we get here? When did this happen? I’m constantly amazed every time I climb a summit to look down at the trail below and know I’d just been there. The first time I actually ran up an incline on a trail I was stunned. How did I get so strong? Wasn’t it just yesterday I was huffing and puffing my way up? Stopping every few feet to catch my breath?

Recognize your progress and honor it. Success comes to us each and every day, in a myriad of forms and experiences. Take a moment to notice.